Let me just preface this with: Yes I know children are starving in the world and there are many larger issues to be dealt with, but as coworker once stated, “Jeff, you have problems for people that don’t have any problems.”A curious thing happened to me two Fridays ago. It was one of those things that seemed pretty inconsequential at the time, but the thought of it keeps following me around. It’s this nagging conundrum that refuses to leave me alone until I have my usual black and white answer; only I have a suspicion that it’ll never be figured out …Since it was a special TReND birthday happy hour, we spent the night at Dick Clark’s. As usual, it was eventful. Not as eventful as the previous Bermuda Triangle-esque incidents, but it makes the top ten. (those by the way in descending order were 4) grabbing the co-worker’s chest incident, 3) the flashing girl incident, 2) the tube top incident, and 1) my boyfriend sitting right over there won’t notice us hooking up incident) But I digress … It all started when I was out dancing with Robin and Maureen and this girl taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and she says to me “you’re a really good dancer, what’s your name.” I say “Jeff” while trying to process the fact that some girl just paid me a complement and wantedto talk to me. I’m sure during this process I looked terribly distracted as I triedto figure out this rarity. It’s like diving by zero. My mind kept telling me: “doesnot compute, does not compute.” Anyway, finally my ego, id, and superego came to theconsensus that this girl was hot for me. I hung around for a while and she introducedme to this guy she was with. I got the feeling that the guy was kinda pissed off,so I went back to the TReND crew. Fifteen minutes pass and she’s back again. She triesto tell me three times that her name is “Anina” and finally settles with “you know,sounds like arena” (which I proceeded to call her for the rest of the night) She asksif I go out dancing much and I say “No, not that often since I left my girlfriend“.*remember this, as it’s an important piece of the puzzle. So, another fifteen minutespass and she’s back a third time. I finally break down and ask her if she wants todance. She declines and tells me that she just had surgery three weeks ago. Not wantingto get into the gory details of it all, i didn’t bother to ask what the surgery wasfor. She tells me about how her and her guy friend love going dancing and that I shouldgo with them sometime. Fifteen more minutes pass (yes, my drunken internal clock blocksoff units of time in fifteen minute increments) and the next thing I know she’s outthere dancing with me. The dude she’s with still looks kinda upset/shy/lonely so Itell her to invite him out too. She walks over to him and he declines. It’s interestingto note that he was dancing at the beginning of the night and he was probably likethe second best dancer out there (second me of course :) Fast forward to the end ofthe night when she and her friend are on their way out and both pause to say goodbye.Her exact words to me are “if you want, give your number to my friend and we’ll callyou when we go out sometime.” My first thought was “aw, she’s too shy to ask for mynumber so she’s telling me to give it to her guy friend.” I agree and give her mycard and say “send me an email sometime.” I really wasn’t all that interested, butI figured I’d be nice. (and wouldn’t this be a good segue into Phillies Amy :) So,now I’m left to figure this out: Scenario 1: She was uncomfortable asking for my numberand felt that it would be easier to turn it into a “lets all hang out sometime” situation,thus telling me to give my number to the dude if I wanted to. Scenario 2: Her friendwas gay and she was trying to hook me up even though I made a point of mentioningthat I used to have a girlfriend. This would explain why she was cool withbeing so forward, why she told me to give my number to a dude, and why he was actingall shy back in the corner when I innocently invited him out to dance with us. Mydrunken unassuming mind immediately accepted scenario 1, but the more and more I thinkabout it, I’m thinkin scenario 2 is more likely. Damn Occam’s Razor. While this wholething is pretty inconsequential, it begs the larger question: “Do people reallythink I’m gay?” Upon pressuring my friends about it, they seem to conclude that it’sa misleading culmination of the clothes, dancing, and one even accused my hairstyle.(even though I still contend that the fact I don’t push my hair up in the front makesit totally non-gay.) I’d argue that a sensitive guy with a nice pair of jeans anda couple of girlfriends doesn’t make him look gay. So, you be the judge … My conclusionis that it’s not me, but Dick Clark’s doing. Weird things just always happenthere.