Hey folks, remember me? The guy with the website? I’m not really sure why I find it so hard to keep up to date, but the site really is living up to it’s name. (the futility part, not the misnomer “ProjectFertility” I heard the other day) Lately I’ve been doing a pretty good job atdestroying everything I come into contact with. Out of my somewhat lengthy 5+ yearstint at my job, I’ve never been so successful at spreading technical carnage throughoutthe organization. While some may argue that power outages, hurricanes, and tornadoesare beyond my sphere of influence, I’m convinced that somehow my unlucky streak hastapped into the forces of nature. And lest I forget to mention that this all startedhappening when I got the damn on-call pager. So far I’ve had the privilege of dealingwith connection pool deficiencies, network errors, broken SQL server replications,web farm idiosyncrasies, power losses, spontaneous server reboots, crashed clientcomputers, 404 errors, and worst of all, non-functioning coffee machines. Aside fromthe world crashing down around me, I’ve also been doing a lot of Paris Planning. Oneof the most important aspects to Paris Planning is Money Saving. Needless to say,finding a Sugar Momma may be more feasible than saving funds at this point. I’m justhoping that I can make it to vacation before I have to drop a grand on new tires.When I get my car out in all the rain we’ve been having, forget it. I may as wellbe driving on ice. I’ve never even thought it was possible to spin your tires shiftinginto second gear, let alone first. Looking back at all that burning rubber and smoke,I guess burnouts weren’t the best way to preserve the life of my tires. But hey, ifyou’re looking for a set of Potenza S-03 Pole Position slicks, I’ll have ‘em barefor you in under a month. I did have one small victory today though. As everyone knows,I have a theory for everything. Although often ridiculed, one of my theories … er… defenses is that the term “metrosexual” actually exists and definitely explainsaway some of my quirks. Thanks to Chris, I now have proofthat metrosexuals exist and although I don’t pass the test, I think I’m closeenough without going overboard. I guess David really did know what he was talkingabout when he informed me of my new social category a few weeks ago.