Literally every muscle in my body hurts. Hurts to type. Hurts to walk. Hurts to laugh. Hurts to turn my head. Let me explain: A few days ago I got duped into playing in a charity golf tournament. While I wholeheartedly believe in the charity, I have no idea how to golf. No idea. I can beat pretty much anyone at Golden Tee, but was discouraged to learn that real golf is not played with a trackball. I was assured that most people playing will be hacks and since it’s a best-ball tournament, it’s ok to suck. The problem is that I don’t like to be average at anything. When it comes to competition, I just simply don’t do it unless I know I can be the best. So here’s my quandary: I have to learn to golf in three weeks. And that’s where the pain comes in. I was actually pleasantly surprised when my buddy Dennis and I hit the driving range before happy hour on Friday. I couldn’t believe that if I concentrated hard, I could actually hit a ball long and straight. (although there were alot of slices in there too) The only downside to putting all your energy into whacking a ball is that you wake up the next day with every single muscle screaming at you. I guess over the years I’ve heard alot about how tohit a golf ball, but I’ve just never done it. So we’ll see how it goes. I hope toget out a few times before this tournament so I don’t look like a total spaz.