I’d really like to get into aggro inline before I’m too old to even jump over a curb but I have a bad feeling there’s like a 99% chance I’d break something.

I watched The Office tonight. Man I love that show. I think it takes me over an hour to watch a thirty minute show because I’m in love with my TiVo eight second back button. Although the comedy is not so much in what they say but in the inexplicable stuff, my favorite quote of the night was “Karen: You can’t give paper clips to a baby, he could swallow them. Creed: Oh it’s ok, I’ve got tons of them.” I also caught Scrubs for the first time in a while but sadly I don’t remember laughing once. :-/

Oh, and speaking of TV, I’ve developed this bad habit of sleeping with the news on lately. Aside from the disturbing experience of waking up to Headline New’s Seeking Solutions With Suzanne, I have a hard time falling asleep without some network newsperson lulling me there. Ladies, I guess I can only hope that the sound of Anderson Cooper’s reporting turns you on cause that’s who’s going to going to talking us to sleep at night. My last girlfriend wasn’t too keen with the whole tv-on-while-we-sleep thing but sadly I’m dependent. I need help and if you’re a cute 5′4 girl-next-door type I challenge you to break me of the habit :)

Have you ever worked a twelve hour day after one-too-many spruce flavored beers the night before? Yeah, that was me today. Not fun, not funny. I met a nice girl at the aforementioned white dog cafe last night, but I have to admit my mind has been other places lately. Maybe I’ll give that distraction a call soon since I’ve been thinking more and more about her for two weeks now. (but we all know I probably won’t, right?). Anyway, the important question here is why was I drinking Pine-Sol flavored beer last night? That’s the last time I take a beer recommendation from Eric.

Does anyone happen to have a Mitsubishi 3000GT transmission that they could spare? I was oh-so-close to buying a plasma TV last Thursday but unfortunately that grand was ill-fated to go somewhere else. My car was making this real bad metal-on-metal sound so I took it into the garage on Tuesday. $700 later I learned that the clutch pilot earning went and allowed all sorts of nasty stuff to bounce around inside my transmission case. The official word from the garage was “we fixed the pilot bearing, but it did some major damage to the syncros on your transmission. Honestly we have no idea how the car is still running, but I’d just drive it until it dies and then decide if you really want to put a new transmission in it.” So great, now I’m driving a car on hospice care. I’m hoping to find a rebuilt transmission, but that’s gonna cost me another fifteen hundred in parts and labor. Maybe I’ll find one under the Christmas tree this year. Or maybe I’ll get a bonus for all the overtime I’ve been putting in at work and buy one myself. (but I’m not holding my breath on either).

I’m a little miffed about this weather we’ve been having. I swear the day I bought two new jackets (one in white, one in blue, I couldn’t decide) it got warm and hasn’t been cold since. They’re kinda like spring-fall jackets so when the temperature plummets next week I’m pretty much destined to be F’ing cold at the cost of looking good. And in addition to that I’m really looking forward to snow since I can’t wait to try ski boarding this season. I was going to go with snowboarding this season (or as the cooler-than-me kids say “riding”) but I figured I may as well stick with what I know. I hear the inline to ski board transition isn’t as bad as one would expect. And for the “I’m cool too” record, in Europe the act of inline skating is also called “riding.” So you can suck it Petersen.

And as a side note I wrote this whole post on my Tablet PC. I installed Vista RTM this past weekend and I have to say I’m enamored with the new handwriting recognition. I write stuff that even I can’t decipher and Vista does wonders with figuring it all out. I have a bad feeling that Tablet computing will never go mainstream but man do I love browsing digg on my computer that feels like a book. Do yourself a favor and make sure your next laptop purchase is a convertible. UPDATE: For some reason my tablet has been pegging at 100% CPU usage lately. And the most frustrating part is that taskmrg.exe is the offender. And even worse I can’t find anything on the internet about it.

Ok, well so much for succinct. Peace out girl scouts. I’ll be back no sooner then when blogger’s remorse sets in. (to B-town Bill … was that the correct usage of “then?” I can never figure out the “then” “than” usage)

So I follow the link and this is what I find:

This is f-ing hilarious. @ 02:22 pm

http://www.projectfutility.net/hes-right-under-your-nose.htm
This blog is consistently awesome. I love this person and I don’t even know them.

Wow. Not just awesome, but consistently awesome? My fist thought was “this girl’s gotta be batshit crazy.” It’s safe to assume that I’m pretty much ashamed about the stuff I post here but I keep doing it for what’s gotta be some crazy narcissistic reason. Anyway, once I accepted the compliment my skepticism turned into flattery. A comment like that really is great motivation.

So to return the favor I checked out her site today. And it’s funny. Really funny. Like some parts are mimi and dooce funny. It’s also well written. (and we all know I have a soft spot in my heart for girls that can make me laugh and write good*) My goodness, do I love this person and don’t even know them? Wouldn’t be the first time.

* yeah, i meant to do that

Oh, and while I’m already all worked up over the RIAA I may as well mention this: The MPAA is now brainwashing Boy Scouts with a program where they can earn a “respecting copyrights” merit patch. OMG WTF? All I can say is support the EFF.

1. Yay, TV is back. Lost, The Office, Heroes, Boston Legal, The Ultimate Fighter, and the best show on TV: Battlestar Galactica! Now if they’d only bring back It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Arrested Development my life would be complete.
2. Work has been kicking my ass. I’ve been putting in an extra 10-12 hours a week for the past three weeks, but I’ve learned that nothing feels better (workwise) than leading a team to meet a goal. I’ve also learned that success (at least my most recent) can be summed up in one word: Initiative.
3. Have you seen the Volvo commercial with the little girl telling her dad a story? Am I the only one who thinks this is the most adorable commercial ever? I TiVo through all commercials, but when this one comes on I can’t help but not watch it. You can find it here. Click on the second icon under “watch the commercials.” Update: here’s the GooTube version
   
4. Some random links for you:
   • A recent study in Psychological Science shows that average faces are deemed to be pleasing/beautiful because they’re easy for your brain to process. I don’t know if I agree or not, but this girl is really cute.
   • Cool video of illegal Philadelphia street racing. Looks like a scene straight outta Fast and Furious when the cops swarm in.
   • One more effing thing to buy for my car: Tweels.
   • Celebrity bra sizes. They don’t list references, but I guess I can agree on Katie Holmes. But where’s Natalie Portman? And what size is Tara Reid now? And what’s with these 33-B’s and 35-C’s? I’m no bra expert, but I always thought they were even numbers. I just checked my most recent Victoria’s Secret catalog (Fall Fashion 2006 vol. 1) for confirmation and they only list even sizes as well. Feducci, BlondGirl, any clarification? (sorry but with all this talk about boobs I’d be remiss for not sharing this youtube video. ps - I was on The Price is Right once and saw nothing of the sort.)
5. Joe Purdy and Josh Radin October 30th at World Cafe! Two weeks from today! So psyched! So so psyched! I was talking to a friend the other night and realized that I haven’t been this excited for a concert since Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds like eight years ago. I’ve bought my ticket, how about you?
6. Question: (in Dwight’s voice) Is inline skating with a cape dangerous? Cause I’m thinking about going Project Runway on this Halloween’s ass and making a cape for the Halloween skate.
7. And finally I’ll leave you with my new policy for computer consultation. A friend called recently to ask if I could get files off an old hard drive for her and brilliantly enough I read this (now archived) craigslist posting on the same day. Amazed by this guy’s business model I’ve adopted the same policy. Sadly she hasn’t taken me up on the offer yet.

(14:46:32) Me: I’d make a terrible pimp
(14:46:52) DeeKay: yeah, you would
(14:47:01) DeeKay: i don’t think u r mean enough
(14:47:56) Me: well I have been known to smack a ho or two
(14:48:42) DeeKay: yeah, but ***** doesn’t really count
(14:49:06) Me: she’s not a ho?
(14:49:30) DeeKay: no, you didn’t hit her hard enough
(14:49:33) DeeKay: she kept coming back

YourX says:

Since you don’t have a forum area - which you should - my only other resource to help you with your hot bawls is in your comments.

Enjoy!

http://www.xoxide.com/cool-it-usb-beverage-cooler.html

I didn’t (and still don’t) understand what “hot bawls” and USB beverage coolers have to do with my crazy night at the bar. I responded by commenting that it was probably SPAM and usually my SPAM filter picks that stuff up. To my amazement it was a real person on the other end and they replied with:

YourX says:

Jeffrey, my comment wasn’t spam. Was it?

Wiki says “Spamming an internet forum is when a user posts a message that is off-topic or has little relevance to the subject being discussed, or a post that fails to contribute to the thread. Lastly, there is also the case where a person posts messages solely for the purpose of increasing his forum ranking.”

Wait, I guess it was spam. :)

Love you, kid!

Ok, so I’m dealing with a real person now, and why is their (her?) name “YourX?” Naturally I ask “Who is YourX? The curiosity is killing me. Is YourX really my ex?” And the response is:

YourX says:

Jeff, I can categorically say - yes - I am your ex. Next question please.

P.S. This would be more fun if you had forums.

-YourX

So my next question is what kind of ex are you? ex-roomate? ex-coworker? ex-girlfriend? Oh, and do you live in Texas? To quote a very good George Strait song:

All my ex’s live in Texas
And Texas is the place I’d dearly love to be
But all my ex’s live in Texas
And that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee

Other randomness:
1) Paris Hilton doesn’t change facial expressions
2) I hacked my TiVo last night to expand the recording capacity from 60 hours to 245 hours. What a fracking mess that was. A project that should have taken me two hours ended at 4 AM; which was six hours after I started the whole misadventure. I’ll post more details later, but for anyone considering the same project DO NOT FORGET THIS: a) You cannot use mfstools to do a TiVo backup to an NTFS formatted drive and b) Do not let your cat lick the power supply of your opened TiVo.
3) When it comes technology, nothing is ever easy for me. Its the simplest things that create the biggest roadblocks. Like I’m the guy who is always one outlet short on his power strip because fate loves to torture me. I set out Saturday with one simple goal: Download Pirates of the Caribbean and watch it on my TV. Step 1: burn said pirated movie to DVD. Problem: the movie doesn’t fit on a DVD without a lengthy re-encoding process. Step 2: dig up that old analog video to composite video cable and run the movie off your laptop. Problem: The cat has chewed through the cable. Step 3: dig up that old analog video to S-video cable and run the movie off your laptop. Problem: The cat has chewed through that one too. Step 4: Locate a hacked copy of XBOX Media Center and then FTP the damn video over to your XBOX and play it from there. Five hours later, success. I could have probably done it a little faster but I was hacking my router at the time and was without internet for a while (which makes it really hard to download things like XBOX Media Center)
4) I hacked my router this weekend. Note to others considering this: DO NOT UPGRADE YOUR LINKSYS FIRMWARE VIA FIREFOX. I had to sweat it out for a good five minutes while thinking I bricked my router; but in the end everything worked out. I’ll post more about the process later, but I mainly did it so that I could run a DHCP server and still tie specific IP address to specific MAC addresses. I never want to see the Applications and Gaming screen of my Linksys router again. That and it’s fun to turn your $60 router into a $600 router.
5) Sorry for the haphazard post today. I’m trying to make a 5:00 dart appointment. Maybe I’ll come back later and pepper with some links. Or maybe not. I’ll be lucky if I even spell check this mess.

“I honestly think it’s going to have the same effect on skating in the U.S. as it has every where else. It’s going to grow like a rash, inspiring people into skating that would never have before considered it. It will create a whole new advert for skating in the U.S., combining socially acceptable with cool.’

This is contrary to my belief, but I seriously hope it happens. Cause you can�t really understand the feeling unless you try it. Naomi describes it better than me when she says it’s “like new love to a teenager.” And she’s so right … the first time I did the Crazy (video) it totally felt like that. I never wanted to stop. I’ve settled down a little, but there were nights when I was skating in the parking lot at 1:30 AM with the cops asking what the hell I was doing out on skates at that time of night. (and thank goodness they didn’t notice the open container)
I also really like the intro to her article because I have this conversation at least twice a week with people. (I think half of them still think I’m a skateboarder)

“So what are you into then?”
Me? I’m a skater.
“Oh, cool. I used to skateboard once.”
No. The other kind of skating … with skates.
“Oh! Ice skating! … You know, I think it’s amazing what they can do.”
No. I’m an inline skater.
“A what?”
A rollerblader.
“Oh, cool. So you do tricks?”
Yeah.
“Like rails and stuff?”
I skate ramps, yeah, but … I’m really a freestyler.
“Oh cool … um … what�s that?”
And there it is. I’m stumped. It happens every damned time.

Yeah. Me too.

Listen at your own risk whilst intoxicated. It’s not as sad as the live Austin City Limits version, but still a moving song nonetheless. Blondgirl - sorry if I dredged up any childood boob envy memories.

1. Do they teach kids today about portmanteaux? I don’t remember hearing much of it when I was a kid. There was the occasional “smog” or “brunch”, but people like Bennifer, Tomkat, and Jeffric just didn’t exist before a few years ago. You better believe that if I was a middle school English teacher I’d whip out the fifteen minute lesson plan on portmanteaux the first time I heard language that craptacular. DeeKay and Blondgirl, I think you’re already guilty with the use of “whoreanus,” but I’ll just classify it as a neologism cause I’d rather not believe its just a combination of “whore” and “anus.”
2. Favorite moment of this past weekend: When the pizza guy showed up at the door. Man, that was good for a laugh. To S – Let’s order pizza again sometime soon. ;)
3. I got a mention on Dave’s weblog today. Apparently reading mine has inspired him to be a better blogger. I think his rationale is batshit, but hey, whatever works for you. It was interesting though to read his entry about the Atlanta hash group. I was so obsessed with the hash house harriers a few months ago and am secretly so jealous that he did it. I swear I’ve read every entry on wikipedia about the hash but unfortunately I’m drawn more to the drinking/partying aspect than the running part. Thankfully the skating club has filled the void for now.
4. Is my website so reprehensible that commenters have to remain anonymous with names like blondgirl, DeeKay, GBFF, DGK, and E-man? Geez, you’d think that 50’s Hollywood was going to put you on some sort of commie blacklist.
5. I read a semi-satisfying article today on Philosophy Now about the connection between logic and humor. It was sort of personally amusing when the article referenced Monty Python’s Argument Clinic cause I can remember Randy from B-Town reciting this scene word for word. It was an ok article I guess; but nothing too earth-shattering. And am I any funnier after reading it? No. Am I still crazy obsessed over the science of humor? Of course. And is wittiness still one of the most attractive qualities in a girl? Yep.

On an unrelated note, I think I’ve pinpointed the reason why people throw things at me as I skate down the street. Here is the photographic evidence:

Later skaterz