Wow this is funny. Unethically funny, but funny nonetheless.

I don’t know if I believe in horoscopes, but this one is eerily true:

Don’t be fooled by what someone tells you today. Use your intuition and read between the lines or you will make a mistake, causing a rift with someone special.

The horoscope was from Friday and I noticed it in the afternoon when I photocopied the crossword puzzle. I ended up forgetting about it, and needless to say crap happened that night that could classify as “don’t be fooled by what someone tells you today“. I spent the rest of the weekend confused and upset and woke up Sunday morning resigned to the fact that something new and exciting in my life was definitely over. I thought to myself “hey I get the message, I can read the writing on the wall.” Thankfully I was able to straighten the situation out Sunday night and was so relieved to say the least. This morning I get to work start to clean all the junk off what used to be my desk (but now looks like a yard sale table). In the process I ran across my long since forgotten Friday horoscope and was taken aback. I thought I didn’t believe in horoscope crap, but this one was spot on.

Happy Birthday Katie! My Birthday Wish for you is that you find your sanity in the upcoming year. You used to be so cute and girl-next-door, but apparently those Thetans ate your brains. sigh. :(

Arrested Development is possibly the funniest show ever. They finally wrapped up the Rita (Charlize Theron) storyline last night. It was so so funny because Michael didn’t know she was mentally challenged. I loved how he kept using her words thinking they were British slang. Like calling the doctor a “Boobooman” and the elevator the “go up box”. It sucks so much that they’re going to cancel this show. Favorite quotes from last night:

Michael: I gave her the bedroom because I didn’t want her to feel pressured
Narrator: Actually it was Michael who felt a little pressured
Rita: I like to keep the light on, that way I can see if you have a monster
(she was of course talking about the kind that hides under the bed)

Rita: Rita corny Michael
Narrator: And Michael said something just as corny
Michael: Lets wait until we are married

When Rita runs away:
George Michael: You better catch her dad
Michael: It’s not going to be easy, she’s an Olympic silver … oh, just figured that one out

Tobias (on fire): Why am I not going underwater? Dear God, why am I not going underwater?

Oh yeah, and The Office was real funny too last night.

Michael Scott: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say ‘Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.’

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that I was just waking up in the morning and Jessica Simpson had decided to spend the night with me. For some reason I wasn’t sleeping on my side of the bed, but who knows, maybe Jessica Simpson insists on sleeping on the right side. My rule is that if it’s my place, I sleep closest to the door; if it’s your place, you sleep closest to the door. (am I the only one with an inside/outside rule?) Anyway, we’re snuggling up close to each other and it looks like it’s going to be the start of a good morning. This is kinda curious because as far as hookup dreams go, Jessica Simpson wouldn’t necessarily be my first choice. I’d take Katie Holmes or Natalie Portman over Jessica any day. But I digress … So we’re getting close and all the sudden my Mom, Dad, and 2 carpenters walk into my room and head straight for the closet. Talk about a mood killer. My Dad tells me that they want to install new shelves in my closet and the carpenters have to draw up the plans. By this point I’m livid because nobody likes a c@ck block and I really don’t want people rooting through my closet. The dream pretty much ended there, but I woke up sincerely disappointed that I missed a chance to hook up with Jessica Simpson. Bah!

The 80’s are back. Or at least I thought so Saturday night. My mom really wanted to go see Bon Jovi and since my brother was already going with his meathead friends, I agreed to take her. I’m not a huge Bon Jovi fan, but I do like some of his older stuff. Getting down there was a bitch and a half. We crawled on 76 and then just sat at the broad street exit. I knew it was going to be bad with the Army Navy game, but I’ve never seen that big of a cluster F at Wachovia before.

The crowd was real eclectic. And by eclectic I mean a diverse crowd with one common denominator: they were all trying way too hard to look cool. With a ratio of 4:1 women to men I can’t tell you the number of thirty-somethings I saw in cowboy hats. I didn’t know cowgirls were into Jovi. I’m not sure which annoys me more though; coyboy hats on girls or dated 80’s hair.

The concert was actually pretty good. I tried to listen to his their new album but had a hard time getting into it. I can honestly say now that I enjoy the new stuff as well as the old stuff. It was a good show with a nice big screen and effects. It was just kinda cool to see a homecoming of sorts. It still remains to be seen if I put Jovi into my playlist but it’s definitely an option.

Setlist:
LAST MAN STANDING
YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
COMPLICATED
BORN TO BE MY BABY
STORY OF MY LIFE
I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD
RUNAWAY
THE RADIO SAVED MY LIFE TONIGHT
NOVOCAINE
I WON’T BACK DOWN
HAVE A NICE DAY
WHO SAYS YOU CAN’T GO HOME
IT’S MY LIFE
I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU (acoustic)
BLAZE OF GLORY (acoustic)
ALWAYS (acoustic)
CAPTAIN CRASH & THE BEAUTY QUEEN FROM MARS
BAD MEDICINE
RAISE YOUR HANDS
LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER

Encore:
JUST OLDER
SOMEDAY I’LL BE SATURDAY NIGHT
TREAT HER RIGHT
SHOUT
WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE
KEEP THE FAITH

“She says she’s no good with words but I’m worse”

Now playing: Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance

I was saddened to learn today that a girl I used to hang out with died in a car accident last night. She was close friends with my girlfriend at the time so most wild nights out and beach excursions usually included her antics. Everyone called her Balady and I’ll remember her as a strong, intelligent, and hilariously funny girl. She used to bust my balls over everything and anything, but it was hard not to love how she made me laugh at everything she said. She’s most recently famous for her stint on ABC’s Hooking Up and I laughed aloud watching one of her dates where she tells the guy: (with an ugly coat) "I’m trying to adjust the vertical hold on your jacket."

Times like Sea Izzle and Split Decision will always be special to me and so will the short amount of time I got to spend with her. I know she’ll be missed by a lot of people.

Here are some other memories of her that are contained in my weblog …

"Oh, and I almost forgot to mention how much I love Balady when she drinks. Although I’ve never known her to hold back, she gets this brazen honesty about her that will definitely keep you in check."

"Sunday night I carried a cooler around Sea Isle. Picture Navy SEAL training where they carry telephone poles on their shoulders, give them Superman powers, replace the pole with a cooler and then fill it with kryptonite … that was me. And then to top it off, Balady made fun of me when a guy double my size with a cooler half my size trotted by with catlike prowess."

"Sunday after dinner it was just me, lesley and steph that went out. Lesley was such a good friend. How often does someone encourage you to get bombed and then offer to take care of you? For a guy, that’s probably one of the sweetest things a girl could do for you. So anyway, thanks Les. Steamroller picnic was great, I walked home with my eyes closed while Lesley led me like a blind man, and Balady said yes when I asked her if I got really bombed would she still call me superman."

"Come to think of it, I guess alot of my stuff is uninspired :/ Maybe I should just get Balady to write my weekend updates from now on :) we’d all have a lot more fun around here."

"Oh, one last thing (after all, it is my site isn’t it?) Thanks to BaladyChristen for the gift. (the "Book of Sex") Deep down I realize that this is just one big hint because she knows I lack the skills of a true Jedi, but for now I’ll just continue down my path of conscience ignorance. Oh, and speaking of (assumed) ignorance, this weekend she taught me that to climb the “cute guy chain” you need to have these successive items: flowers, kitten, puppy, baby."