so much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to sayso much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to sayDave Matthews - So Much To Say

Well I’m sitting here and its 1:45 AM. I can’t sleep even though I’m drinking rum, OJ, and grapefruit juice like it’s my job. So, to add to my “quarter of two I’m watching classic star trek” excitement, I’m breaking down and doing the UnconsciousMutterings, a little word association ditty. here it goes …

1. Badminton :: Fourth of July
2. Obsessive compulsive :: laundry room door deadbolt
3. Prosthetics :: Captain Hook
4. Sophistication :: Brandy
5. Hiphop :: breakdancing
6. Stammering :: inebriation
7. Property taxes :: Government misappropriation
8. Lowrider :: Orange County
9. Blowtorch :: Jesse James
10. Formality :: paperwork

Can you imagine how disappointed I was what I learned that Dumband Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd isn’t starring Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels?And it’s not even written or directed by the Farley Brothers. What a waste of time.Now, what isn’t a waste of time … my ten most favorite Dumb and Dumber Quotes:

Harry: YeahI called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something,I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention. Motorcycle Cop: Pullover! Harry: No,it’s a cardigan but thanks for noticing. Harry: Nice set of hooters you gotthere. Mary: I beg your pardon? Harry: The owls, there beautiful. Lloyd: Hey,wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? … Lloyd: That’s a lovelyaccent you have. New Jersey? Girl: Austria. Lloyd: Austria! Well then,g’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barby! Lloyd: I got worms! That’swhat we’re going to call it. Lloyd: We got no food, we got no jobs, our petsheads are fallin’ off! Lloyd: Uh, what is the soup du jour? Waitress: It’sthe soup of the day. Lloyd: Mmm, that sounds good. I’ll have that. Lloyd: Ilike-you-a-lot Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl likeme ending up together? Mary: Not good. Lloyd: Not good, like one ina hundred? Mary: I’d say more like one in a million. Lloyd: So you’retelling me there’s a chance!

I have a new favorite word. My last favorite word was “asinine.” My new favorite word is “sexercise.” First used by Shaggy I believe, it’s a wonderfully descriptive hybrid. If you were to use it in a sentence, it would sound something like: “And now I’m off to go bake cookies, drink beer, and possibly get sexercised to sleep.” I only wish I could take credit for inventing it. I think thus far the only word I’ve truly invented was “ecleptic,” a hybrid of “eclectic,” “eccentric,” and I guess “kleptomaniac.” It’s meaning is something along the lines of a maniacal person who steals random and varied items. My usage was more along the lines of describing a weird, eccentric, crazy person who shook uncontrollably.

I want a cameracell phone. This is a shock to me because I thought I’d never let go of my beloved,tiny, antenna-less Nokia8260. I was thinking about buying one of those creditcard cameras and hoping it’d fit in my wallet,but a camera phone would be dual purpose. The only problem is that there are at least10 camera phones out there and I can’t find one universal source that’s reviewed andcompared them all. Right now I’m looking at the Sanyo and Nokia (withouthaving first checked if they even run on our networks here). I’m hoping that the cellphone manufacturers are also taking an open source approach so that I can somehowget my pictures directly from my phone to my website. How cool would that be? It mighteven give me a change to use the ASP.NETmobile internet toolkit. :) Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention, while we’re onthe topic, those self-important belt clips for cell phones are so gay. If youwear a cell phone on your hip, there’s a 95% certainty that you’re a tool. I justwant to grab it off the usually fat guy’s waist and chuck it as far as I can. SinceI don’t carry mine on my waist trying to convey that 1) I’m so immensely importantI need my phone instantly accessible and 2) I have the latest greatest phone on display,I have strayed away from those tiny annoying little antennas. To date by brother hasbroken I think 3 carrying his phone in his pocket. Which I guess after some retrospectthis brings me to an apology. I have to say sorry to The Captain for making fun ofher overt issues w/ cell phones. I think I may have the same issues. I think we justneed to differentiate between responsible and irresponsible cell phone use. And speakingof irresponsible cell phone use, am I the only one that can’t drive while talkingon a cell phone? I don’t know how people do it. Granted, I have the steering wheelin one hand and the shifter in the other, but even before that I felt like after aphone call I realized that I had about %5 of my attention focused on the road. I wantto run idiots off the road if they’re on their cell. They’re always the ones thatare driving like 65 in the leftmost lane of the 3 lane blue route. I’m flying downthe road at around 90 and nearly kill myself changing lanes just to avoid some chickwho just has to talk on the phone because her commute is too boring. The reason cellphones shouldn’t be used in cars is the same reason that foreign sports car makersdon’t put cup holders in their cars. When you’re in a car, all your faculties shouldbe focused on driving. Yes, it’s kinda annoying that my car doesn’t have a singleplace to put my coffee, but I respect their logic.

Would it be unethical (or send me straight to hell) if I built and ran an online cigarette business? There’sone for sale on Ebay, and it has given me a idea. Obviously I wouldn’t pay $500for a website, but since I am a web developer, I could bang something like this outin under a month in just my free time. Sure, I’d be selling cancer to children online,but the venture wouldn’t cost me anymore than $20 a month and my time.

<NerdPost>Oh crap, I just realized that I royally screwed up the comments when I added the daily archives. The archived posts didn’t get converted right, so I recreated the table that holds all the weblog data. What I didn’t take into account was that the comments drive off the primary key of the old (and corrupt) table. SO, new table means new unique identifiers, which means orphaned comment records. I guess that’ll teach me not to take shortcuts and use the automatically generated identifier as a foreign key for data I know is going to be moving around. The thing that sucks the most is that I already learned this lesson a few months back on my worksite and didn’t heed my own revelation. </NerdPost>

For the bride to be (mark’s and david’s) … I give to you weddingoptions you may not have considered. For those of you who are sick of satellites,I give to you my favorite online game; TheHelicopter Game. My personal best: 2128 And for those who are tired of helicopters and satellites,I give to you another classic, TheWorm Game. Personal best: 2199 Now, someone give me the solution to level 10 ofthe satellitegame!

I want to beat my head against my desk repeatedly after playing this game SpySatellites. Your goal is to connect all the satellites using these soonto be nightmarish satellite ray deflector things, and apparently their goal isto drive you to drink. Despite hours of embarrassing defeat, I’m not giving up. It’sprobably close to impossible, but if you can successfully beat Level 10 I will personallydeliver to you a certificate that officially declares you smarter than I. (or a leasta little more spatially inclined) Now, for the full effect you must play the satellitegame while listening to Dave Matthew’s Satellite (on repeat, over and over, ad infinitum).It really is a freakish experience. I know not many recipes for lunacy, but this oneis guaranteed to drive you nuts. (I also seem to have lost my ability to pinpointcorrect grammar) Anyway, when playing the game, it’s almost as if Dave is tauntingyou while you try link up those damn little satellites. And to compound the madnessof it all, the song is as absurd as the game. The lyrics mean nothing, the game hasno solution, and my sanity is being lost over satellites.

As requested by Bill, the daily archives have been added. I still need to do some work on them because I’ve realized that only about half the data is showing. Apparently some of the data was lost/screwed up when converting from SQL Server to Access DB back to SQL Server. Chalk it up to GIGO I guess. In other news, I took down the webcam link cause I’ve realized that I don’t spend all that much time in front of my computer. A shocking realization, but true nonetheless.

Me and Lori, country 1 of 9, drinking around the world

Hi, I’m home! It was an amazing vacation, except for the extreme heat. It felt asif we were visiting Mickey in hell. I’ll save the other details for the upcoming traveljournal website, but you can expect something along the lines of the NewYears Eve Debacle site.

Yes, I know I’m boring. I always have these grandiose plans for a website, then when I get one I’m too lazy to do anything with it. Oh, and don’t expect new posts until I get back from vacation next Wednesday. The harem and I are taking a few days to booze around the world in Epcot while I simultaneously try to pick up a hot little German honey with my “Kiss me I’m German” t-shirt. The beer wench won’t know what hit her.

thanks emily :)