The new spring theme style is up. (click on the link on the right) I’m not sure how I feel about it. After a while I start to feel overwhelmed by the color green. I’m likin the first 300 px of the page, then it just turns to monotony. I’d fix it, but I need a few days break from all that green. :(

Who apparently knows teenage girls better than I? The NationalCattlemen’s Beef Association I suppose. They’ve created a site called Cool2B Real with the intention of empowering young girls and encouraging them to maketheir own choices. And when I say “make their own choices” I mean “make them eat meat.”It’s almost unbelievable that the poll on their website asks: “What type of beef doyou most like to eat with your friends?” Of course we all have our favorites, butI’d say mine would be Cheese Steak. Watch out, because now I am “keeping it real.”One would think that this kind of propaganda has gone too far, but in reality it palesin comparison to PETA. I don’t even like thinking about PETA because they enrage me.Animals are for eating. That’s why God gave them to us, so we could eat.Yes, I don’t agree with killing animals for fur coats or sport, yes I have my indiscretionsand realize I wear leather shoes (as do many “vegetarians”). But if I had the chance,I’d force feed those damn vegetarians raw meat until they choked; solely because of PETA’sMassKilling.com. It’s appalling that an organization has the audacity to comparethe killing of chickens (for food) to the Holocaust. I guess nothing is sacred anymore.

Woo hoo, a Friday Five finallyon time. 1. What was the last TV show you watched? Well it definitely wasn’tDawson’s Creek. The last full show I saw was a while ago … probably the SimpsonsI think. Tonight I actually opted to watch a movie which is rare cause I don’t reallylike movies all that much. I rented Best in Show (a mockumentary by the same guyswho made The Spinal Tap and Waiting for Guffman) since I was out nearBlockbuster. That movie is so funny. (WHERE IS BUSY BEE? YOU GO GET BUSY BEE!) I can’twait to go see A Mighty Wind with the Captain. What’s better than a mockumentaryabout folk music? The irony is that she has EFO,and I have a movie about her :) 2. What was the last thing you complained aboutand what was the problem? I was complaining how in .NET if an integer value isset to zero (”Dim i as Integer = 0″), the condition of “If i = Nothing Then … “evaluates to “True.” This really is a misnomer (and pretty stupid) because if I explicitlyset the value to zero, it has in fact been initialized and in no way should be evaluatedas Nothing. For example, imagine a public property that acts as a counter. What ifthe count should be zero? Programmatically I have no way of knowing if the propertyvalue is zero, or if the counter just hasn’t been initialized. Better yet, set a datevariable equal to Nothing, and the .ToString method spits out “01/01/0001 12:00:00AM” Wonderful. Don’t even get me started on Boolean values … 3. Who was the lastperson you complimented and what did you say? Hmm, I can’t remember. Does thatmake me a bad person? Gasp, am I that selfish? I think this morning I told the Captain… (who by the way called at 8:30 AM, who does that? Only a really good, thoughtful,caring, concerned friend I guess) … I told the Captain that she cared too much aboutpeople. That’s a compliment right? In effect I was telling her that she was “verycaring.” Right? 4. What was the last thing you threw away? Busch Light beercan. These questions are stupid. 5. What was the last website (besides this one)that you visited? ExplodingDog

Let me just preface this with: Yes I know children are starving in the world and there are many larger issues to be dealt with, but as coworker once stated, “Jeff, you have problems for people that don’t have any problems.”A curious thing happened to me two Fridays ago. It was one of those things that seemed pretty inconsequential at the time, but the thought of it keeps following me around. It’s this nagging conundrum that refuses to leave me alone until I have my usual black and white answer; only I have a suspicion that it’ll never be figured out …Since it was a special TReND birthday happy hour, we spent the night at Dick Clark’s. As usual, it was eventful. Not as eventful as the previous Bermuda Triangle-esque incidents, but it makes the top ten. (those by the way in descending order were 4) grabbing the co-worker’s chest incident, 3) the flashing girl incident, 2) the tube top incident, and 1) my boyfriend sitting right over there won’t notice us hooking up incident) But I digress … It all started when I was out dancing with Robin and Maureen and this girl taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and she says to me “you’re a really good dancer, what’s your name.” I say “Jeff” while trying to process the fact that some girl just paid me a complement and wantedto talk to me. I’m sure during this process I looked terribly distracted as I triedto figure out this rarity. It’s like diving by zero. My mind kept telling me: “doesnot compute, does not compute.” Anyway, finally my ego, id, and superego came to theconsensus that this girl was hot for me. I hung around for a while and she introducedme to this guy she was with. I got the feeling that the guy was kinda pissed off,so I went back to the TReND crew. Fifteen minutes pass and she’s back again. She triesto tell me three times that her name is “Anina” and finally settles with “you know,sounds like arena” (which I proceeded to call her for the rest of the night) She asksif I go out dancing much and I say “No, not that often since I left my girlfriend“.*remember this, as it’s an important piece of the puzzle. So, another fifteen minutespass and she’s back a third time. I finally break down and ask her if she wants todance. She declines and tells me that she just had surgery three weeks ago. Not wantingto get into the gory details of it all, i didn’t bother to ask what the surgery wasfor. She tells me about how her and her guy friend love going dancing and that I shouldgo with them sometime. Fifteen more minutes pass (yes, my drunken internal clock blocksoff units of time in fifteen minute increments) and the next thing I know she’s outthere dancing with me. The dude she’s with still looks kinda upset/shy/lonely so Itell her to invite him out too. She walks over to him and he declines. It’s interestingto note that he was dancing at the beginning of the night and he was probably likethe second best dancer out there (second me of course :) Fast forward to the end ofthe night when she and her friend are on their way out and both pause to say goodbye.Her exact words to me are “if you want, give your number to my friend and we’ll callyou when we go out sometime.” My first thought was “aw, she’s too shy to ask for mynumber so she’s telling me to give it to her guy friend.” I agree and give her mycard and say “send me an email sometime.” I really wasn’t all that interested, butI figured I’d be nice. (and wouldn’t this be a good segue into Phillies Amy :) So,now I’m left to figure this out: Scenario 1: She was uncomfortable asking for my numberand felt that it would be easier to turn it into a “lets all hang out sometime” situation,thus telling me to give my number to the dude if I wanted to. Scenario 2: Her friendwas gay and she was trying to hook me up even though I made a point of mentioningthat I used to have a girlfriend. This would explain why she was cool withbeing so forward, why she told me to give my number to a dude, and why he was actingall shy back in the corner when I innocently invited him out to dance with us. Mydrunken unassuming mind immediately accepted scenario 1, but the more and more I thinkabout it, I’m thinkin scenario 2 is more likely. Damn Occam’s Razor. While this wholething is pretty inconsequential, it begs the larger question: “Do people reallythink I’m gay?” Upon pressuring my friends about it, they seem to conclude that it’sa misleading culmination of the clothes, dancing, and one even accused my hairstyle.(even though I still contend that the fact I don’t push my hair up in the front makesit totally non-gay.) I’d argue that a sensitive guy with a nice pair of jeans anda couple of girlfriends doesn’t make him look gay. So, you be the judge … My conclusionis that it’s not me, but Dick Clark’s doing. Weird things just always happenthere.

I’m getting better. This FridayFive is only four days late. 1. Who is your favorite celebrity? Definitely KatieHolmes. She appears to be one the few celebrities that’s maintained any shredof her innocence. very sexy. 2. Who is your least favorite? GaryBusey’s teeth. Also ChristopherWalken freaks me out. How did he get famous? 3. Have you ever met or seen anycelebrities in real life? I met the Philly Phanatic once when I was a kid. Atthe time I was pretty excited about meeting a celebrity. Since then my second closeencounter was when Lesley and I saw Ben Affleck, Jen Lopez, George Carlin, and KevinSmith during one of the best and worst experiences of my life - being a movie extra.It’s surreal how something can be really fun and hellish all at the same time. Thesong the cast sung (over and over again) in the 105 degree auditorium still hauntsme to this day. Oh yeah, and dawn and I saw ER’s Dr. Kovac on a tour of the WB studiosonce. I guess that’s as good as it gets :/ 4. Would you want to be famous? Whyor why not? I think I’d rather be one of the most respected men in the countryas opposed to one of the most famous. I’m sure being famous would be fun, but it’sprobably also overwhelming. I’d just settle for being the token “famous guy” thatevery town has. I’d still want the fame to be via respect though. I’m not sure actorsdo anything all that amazing to garner the attention they do. 5. If you had totrade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why? well, ChrisKlein is dating Katie Holmes, so I’d choose him. I think I could deal with lookingthat goofy as long as I got to wake up next to Katie. mmm :)

I just discovered the best show ever. RealitySeries Wrap-Up! VH1 - Sundays - 12:30 AM. Married by America, The Bachelor, ScareTactics, All American Girl, American Idol, Elimidate, Fraternity Life, Real World/RoadRules, Iron Chef, Family Business, Survivor, Star Search, … mmm. I just can’t getenough. It’s a lot like the old Talk Soup on Comedy Central, only a lot less JerrySpringer and a lot more interesting.

Yetanother FridayFive a week late. 1. What was the first band you saw in concert? Hmm …Dave Matthews I think. That was before he sold out. Right now I have a Dave MatthewsBand concert veto in effect. (this ban does not include solo performances; ironicallyfor that I’d pay upwards of $200 for tickets) 2. Who is your favorite artist/bandnow? While Dave Matthews will always be my favorite, I also listen to DashboardConfessional, Guster, and Norah Jones since I got the concert coming up this summer.3. What’s your favorite song? Oh there are so many to choose from. (of courseall of them are dave matthews songs)

• #40 - “a friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels raining down at me” … “the road to you is long and I’ve been on it for a while” … “a lover’s good to have, but a friend that’s so true to me lasts for always”
• After Her - “with biggest steps I’m running, after her I will run” … “sun will shine no matter what I do, sun shines bright now with you”
• Grace is Gone - “neon shines through smokey eyes tonight, it’s two a.m. i’m drunk again it’s heavy on my mind” … “one drink to remember, another to forget”
• #41 - “I will go in this way and find my own way out” … “I will, bring water”
• Crash - the outtro that goes “I will be your dixie chicken if you’ll be my tenesse lamb. we will walk together down in dixieland”
• Granny - “cause I blindly throw my faith to the face of the next pretty girl to come my way”
• Hold me down/up - “hold me down, if I’ve got the fear. Hold me up, if running’s what’s got into me, cause, cry as I may, these tears won’t wash you away”
• Lover Lay Down
• One Sweet World
• Say Goodbye - The whole song is amazing … This actually was the first dave matthews song I ever heard. I remember it like it was yesterday. A friend had given me a taped copy of a concert and fast forwarded it to this song for me. At the time I was having a “say goodbye” moment in my life and she thought it would be apropos. :)
• Two Step - “you came to me like wine comes to this mouth grown tired of water all the time. You quench my heart and you quench my mind.”
• And my all time favorite forever and ever, I’ll back you up

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Well I’d like to beable to play my guitar better and remember how to play the piano. The piano thingis probably pretty easy, but I’m afraid that I’ve become too dependent on my classicalguitar. Since the stings are far apart and made of nylon it makes it real easy topick and play for long periods of time. The downside is that the frets are too farapart making advanced chords a real stretch. So, if anyone would like to donatea real guitar that’d be great. 5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present),who would it be and why? Guitar lessons from Dave Matthews of course.

A friend calls me tonight to inform me that some girl on Fear Factor has a blankie with her. Apparently she feels that we are kindred spirits or something because this girl brings her blanket with her to eat snails. For a second I was actually starting to think that maybe we were alittle alike. That fascination died when in response to a guy who said “the slimegets all over your tongue,” she says “yeah, like a condom.” Who says that on nationalTV?

I seemed to have missed last week’s FridayFive 1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life? Seven?

• 3 years - House I don’t remember in Abington, PA
• 19 years - House I grew up in Lansdale, PA
• 1 year - Shunk Hall, State College, PA
• 2 years - Sigma Chi Fraternity, State College, PA
• 1.5 years - Ohio Hall, Erie, PA
• 2 years - Green Lane, PA
• 5 months - Blue Bell, PA

2. Which was your favorite and why? My favorite house had to have been theone I grew up in. I loved that house. It was the best place for a kid to grow up becausewe backed up to woods and a pond. It will always be special because of the amountof memories it holds. 3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why? Movingsucks. And I recently found out it’s hella expensive. I hate the fact that it can’tbe done independently too. For some reason I feel bad inconveniencing people by makingthem carry couches and furniture. 4. What’s more important, location or price? I’mthe type of person that always analyzes the opportunity cost. I think in the end theextra cost would be worth getting the better location. Plus, if you’re buying, it’sgoing to appreciate anyway. 5. What features does your dream house have (pool,spa bath, big yard, etc.)? I often have the feeling that the two bedroom, 2.5bath townhouse I’m living in now is too big (even with a roommate). Go figure. I thinkmy ideal house would be cozy … or maybe just personal. I wish I had the money, time,and ambition to personalize the space I currently have. Obviously my dream house wouldalso have a bar, garage for my car(s), and a kickass entertainment system. Hopefullyit will also include a beautiful wife and the sweetest children.

I just got my Car-O-Scope backfrom Car Talk, a little radioshow on NPR that I usually catch on my drive to state college.

ComparingYou to Other Mitsubishi 3000GT Owners Boy oh boy, Jeff, you picked a vehicle whichis just about perfect for you. Congratulations! For example, when compared to otherpeople who own a Mitsubishi 3000GT, you’re just about the same in terms of your educationallevel, your income, and your grasp of reality. But there are some psychographic and/ordemographic measures on which you differ from other Mitsubishi 3000GT owners. Forexample, other Mitsubishi 3000GT owners are far more willing to take risks than youare, and you’re a bit too young to be driving this vehicle.

I’d ventureto say that in my car is the place where I take the most risks! Also, I feel it’san adequate time to share the “UltimateChick Cars of All Time” list. For some reason people always scoff at me when Itell them that any guy that drives a VW has a 75% chance of being gay. (and a 100%certainty of being effeminate). And here’s the proof … This is Car Talk’s list oftop 5 chick cars compiled from thousands of votes:

5. Dodge Neon4. Volkswagen Jetta 3. Mazda Miata 2. Volkswagen Cabriolet 1. Volkswagen Beetle

Ithink the quote that sums it up best says “Anything by Volkswagen is a chick car.VW realized this years ago and joined forces with another company to sell guy cars- they called that company Porsche.” While I can’t say that I’ve never been accusedof being … uh … “sensitive”, there are some lines I won’t cross. Like you’ll neverfind this guy driving a potpourri scented VW over a 320HP twin turbo manual V6.

What an amazing weekend :) For anyone that I told about my “incident,” my court date was yesterday and everything turned out ok. What a relief that was ;) I also have the best friend in the whole world that took off work just so she could be with me in case the law decided to make an example of me. Luckily that didn’t happen so we went out to lunch and I celebrated with coronas. Afterwards we went to the Chaddsford winery for wine tasting. The weather was amazing and we had the opportunity to sit outside with a bottle of wine and just enjoy the spring.Today was the Phils game. A word of advice: no matter how strong the wind is blowing, do not try to light a grill inside yourcar. 30 matches, 2 cute girls and 1 bottle of lighter fluid later we got the charcoalgoing. I guarantee you that hot dogs taste so much better when you have to work forthem. By my third illegal tailgate beer it was time for the game … the phils lostmiserably, but I’m almost kinda glad. I sat through the first two innings and it wassooo damn cold. Because by that point they were losing 6-1, Lorelai and I had no qualmsabout going down to Chickie & Pete’s. It was such a good time! I got to hang out withCarson Daly and Johnny Two-Step (some high-up mobster in Philly). Lori also totallyembarrassed me by taking it upon herself to inform some girl that I was interestedin her. (what are friend’s for I guess?) Which brings me to my next question … sayyou’re talking to some girl, she gives you her card and says “this is my work info,call or email me sometime,” what exactly should that email say? I’m convinced I’mgoing to screw this up because when I was talking to her I couldn’t even rememberwhere I lived. She lives right down the street from me and when I tried to tell herI lived close by I couldn’t remember the street name or complex. I am so dumb dumbdumb!

I’ve been waiting for 2 months to play this song and mark the end of a really long day …

Feelingtired By the fire The long day is over The wind is gone Asleep at dawn The embersburn on With no reprise The sun will rise The long day is over

Norah Jones- The Long Day Is Over

My newest conquest. So easy I don’t know why I didn’t learn it sooner.

E:--------------------------------B:--------------------------------G:----2\4-----4-------6--7--7-----D:----0-------5\7-----7--7--7-----A:--------------------------------E:-2-------3-------5-------7--5/--

Which brings me to another point … I swear someone sneaks into my room at nightand purposely un-tunes my guitar. Every time I pick the thing up it’s out of tune.(That or Dave Matthew’s guitar is out of tune which I doubt)

Here you go girls, as seen in Elle magazine, it’s greatboyfriends.com.

“DOLLS!We all have charming male friends . . . smart, noble, successful, honest, good-lookingguys who’re between girlfriends … or who’re just a tad shy … or who’ve had badluck with women. Here’s the open-hearted place where we women can write-up recommendationsof these wonderful fellows, show their pictures and vouch for them.”

Basicallyit’s a site where women can befriend each other and recommend “great boyfriends”.I’m not so sure if this whole theory is valid because I’ve known women to be prettycatty and conniving when it comes to other girls messing with their guy friends. (ok,and vice versa, but I’m just being protective :) Overall it’s a terribly designedsite that won’t last the year, but the basic idea has merit. I just don’t understandwhy they use the word “doll” in every sentence. I’m playing with fire here, but I’dlove to see how some of my friends would fill out this application … (Although Imay be safe because one in particular has a broken keyboard and dialup AOL that crapsout on her ;)

His place on the Boy Scout Scale (i.e. his bravery, cheerfulness,courtesy, loyalty, and trustworthiness - especially his trustworthiness) is: 1. He’sa total Boy Scout 2. He could be a Boy Scout if he met the right woman 3. He’s a crossbetween a Boy Scout and a rogue 4. He’s a real heart-breaker 5. Watch Out! On theAll-Time Male Ego Scale: 1. His ego is bigger than France 2. His ego’s huge; but hewon’t explode 3. He’s conceited, but adorable 4. He’s got a good grip on who he is5. He’s humble as pie As we all know, the key to a man is how he views his mother:1. He loves and respects his mom 2. He’s tender/grateful/understanding towards hismom 3. He detests the evil harpy 4. She did a real number on him, best change thesubject Paint us a word picture of his Ideal Woman - her character, looks, charms,whims, favorite pursuits: In his car/truck/SUV/motorcycle/private plane, you’ll find:The man’s just crazy about:

I hate April 1st.