… we’re on the new server now.

I know I’ve been a slacker lately.First of all, check out the “what I learned today” crack code in the archives. Amazingwhat a little ADO and a dash of ASP can do. If only it could help out the lessfortunate.
Something else I wanted to mention … I’ve been thinking lately about keeping a dailylog of animals that escape vehicular homicide on my way to/from work (I average 2-3a day). I live so far out in the boons now that I have to worry more about smashinganimals than I do smashing children on the sidewalk (have you ever seen a car jumpa curb?). Anyway, I was racing home the other night and … no lie … I almost hita horse. Yeah, a big white horse. Go figure. And this was like at midnight. The horsedidn’t even have a passenger … rider … whatever. Point is, hitch your horse tothe barn (is it red? no. then its not a barn) at night or I’m gonna run him over.I’m admittedly good at straddling turtles in the road, but when it comes to avoiding600 pound animals … that’s gonna leave a dent.

Well it looks like its moving time. In addition to moving to a new server, I plan on totally breaking free from Dreamweaver templates.There has just been too many problems designing in Dreamweaver and coding in InterDev.So, goodbye templates, hello SSI. Also, in accordance with the Microsoft World DominationDeclaration, I will be translating the color scheme JavaScript code into VB Script.If you find the site totally missing in a week, it means that the whole thing is fubarand I’ve given up on technology.

I am so in love with AmericanHigh. I can’t believe that tonight was the last episode. For some reason it makesme want to throw conventionalism to the wind. I feel like wearing leather pants towork tomorrow with my feet up on the desk takin slugs from a 40.

… iskinda disturbing.

This is what happens when you realize that you’re putting jeffreykelso.com on your resumes and prospective employers are ending up at goofy ‘ol ProjectFutility.net .. You end up designing a professional type site in under a day.

A sneak preview of the professional site. What do you think?

I think my fish is dying :-(

Dave, to check out when your next assult will take place, I created this stored procedure for you to execute:

Create Proc spKillDaveFlanneryASSELECT kd.knife, kd.function, kd.slain_DateTime, gu.bladeFROM tblKitchenDrawer kd INNER JOIN tblGinsu guON kd.type = gu.typeWHERE kd.knife_function = 'STAB'AND kd.victim = 'Flannery'ORDER BY kd.slain_DateTime

ThinkGeek.com ismy candy store. Not exactly eye candy, but computer toys are always a gooddistraction in the absence of women. Check out my wishlist and buy me stuff. I’d buy it myself, but as emily so flagrantly puts it,I’m an ‘underpaid wench.’

The Gorillaz websitemakes me want to be a Flashdeveloper in the worst way. I thought the Clint Eastwood video couldn’t be toppeduntil I saw their website. Amazing stuff.

Dikembe Mutombo	Cookie Monster
Center, Philadelphia 76ers	Cookie Eating Monster

This is so damn funny. Listen to CookieMonster and then listen to Mutombo.Tell me that’s not the same person. It’s Mutombo’s alter ego.

I finally found this song. It has been stuck in my head for a week now and all I could remember was ‘goes out the window’ I searched everywhere for it. The only problem was that the lyrics really say ‘gone out th …’ Yesterday I was driving home from work and it just hit me. All the sudden I thought ‘duh, that’s sugar ray you idiot.’ And then of course it came on the radio 5 min later. I think the powers that be wouldn’t let me hear it until I figured it out myself. Anyway, if you want to DL it on Napster, search for ‘when sugar’ The name of the file is ’sugar rayy - When It’s Overrrr.mp3′